Creative Play During Basketball Games

The kids spend so much time at Isaiah‘s basketball games. They somehow always find something creative to do together. Today in the corner at the gym they found some soccer goalies. I think that they are pretending like they are caged animals. 

Morning walk kids to school.

There is no sent that has ever been created by man that can compare with what I smell here in the forest.  What is it? I know I definitely smell Pine trees and wood, but what else? Can you smell moisture? Can you smell the color green? Though  there are no flowers, there is something slightly sweet.  Glade has tried to manufacture it, can it, and market it for masking odors from the bathroom. Candle companies come up with their own version to sell. Even men’s cologne and laundry detergent‘s try to mimic the smell here. None even come close. I can’t describe it to you. You must come here to experience it for yourselves. 

Adjustments with food

OK, so maybe not everything is perfect here. It is quite difficult to find ingredients that I am used to cooking with. Mostly, it is difficult to find Mexican food ingredients. I can’t find cumin or dried black beans. I finally found corn tortillas at one grocery store. But they were only six of them in the package for four dollars.  I am used to Mexican food being an inexpensive, tasty and nutritious way to eat. It has now become a quite expensive and exotic way to eat.   So, today I found an Indian 


 dried bean that I am going to use as my substitute for black beans. It’s sort of looks like a very small black bean. 

Confessions

In our scripture study this morning we were reading about how in the Second Coming the wicked will howl in remembrance of their unrighteousness. It was the writings of Isaiah —2 Nephi 23:6.   I was explaining how sometimes it’s embarrassing if you’re doing something naughty and your parents come in and find out. But, imagine what it would be like if you saw God and you were not doing something right. And I explained that it is so embarrassing and so much shame you cry really hard, hard enough to howl. William thought for a moment and then said he was really embarrassed about the bad things he had done. I asked him what he was remembering. And he confessed to throwing hotdogs and pretzels off of our 19th story apartment. So, I guess this isn’t the prefect home for our family, but it is good. It is so, so good.   

Confessions

In our scripture study this morning we were reading about how the second coming The wicked will Howell and remembrance of their unrighteousness. It was the writings of Isaiah. I was explaining how how sometimes it’s embarrassing if you’re doing something naughty and your parents come in the fuck out. But, imagine what it would be like if you saw God and you were not doing something right. And I explained that it is so embarrassing and so much shame you want to Howell. Williams thought for a moment and then said he was really embarrassed about the bad things he had done. I asked him what he was remembering. And he confessed to throwing hotdogs and pretzels off of our 19th story apartment. So, I guess this isn’t the prefect home for our family, but it is good. It is so, so good.   

However, for next home, I’m going to look for a place I can buy corn tortillas and black beans, and be able to make the kids beds

Serious Questions in Seminary

Well, so far I have absolutely loved being Isaiah's seminary teacher in the morning.  The first day of seminary we were talking about the Plan of Salvation.  We spent a lot of time on the pre-mortal life.  We looked at his scrapbook and remembered his baby blessing and the impressions that grandparents and parents had about who he was before he came to to this Earth and who he would be on this Earth.   We read parts of my patriarchal blessing about the promises about the children that I would raise. It was special.  I wouldn't have traded it for the world

This morning’s  lesson was about scripture study. I shared the experience  that Jared teaches about this lesson. Jared recalled an experience from his mission when Elder Carmack came to Puerto Rico to visit. In a conference he asked the missionaries who the best scriptorian was. Much to his chagrin, all of Jared‘s friends nominated him. So Elder Carmack gave him 10 minutes to study Acts chapter 3 verse 19 through 21. Jared said he never studied the Scriptures like that in all of his life. He looked up every footnote and considered every single word. When the 10 minutes were up, Elder Carmack asked Jared to share what he had learned. Jared spoke for about 20 minutes. When she was done other Carmack praised him for his good and thorough study, but continued to teach got even more out of those scriptures for another 20 minutes more. Jared said he had never had a better lesson on how to study the Scriptures than that one. Other Carmack then shared how he had the same experience as a young missionary when Bruce are McKonkie was the visiting general authority. This lesson has had quite an impact on Jared’s students over the years and one even painted a painting as a tribute to the lesson that Jared gave when he then studied the Scriptures with the students and show them how to Mark and get every bit of juice out of them like you were juicing the most delicious orange. 
After sharing this experience of Jared’s and trying to replicate in some small way, I got out my own orange and peeled it for Isaiah and told him that really getting into the Scriptures was like peeling an orange. Then I interrupted myself by asking him to help me find something I was searching for that I lost that morning. He told me there was no way he could help me know how to search for something if I couldn’t even tell him what it was. I thanked him for answering the question the right way and told him that we were command to search the Scriptures but we need to understand what we were searching for. And that is principles. Understanding symbolism, reading footnotes, cross-referencing, looking for repetition, understanding the historical context, understanding the deeper meanings of words—These are all tools that are similar to peeling an orange. The fruit on the inside is the principle and that is what you were truly searching for. so, we do that hard work I’m studying the Scriptures just like we peel and orange, but the purpose of it is to get to the principal so that we can apply that principal to our own lives. We then juiced our own tangible orange and scriptural oranges.  After our lesson it was a whole wheat pancakes, freshly squeezed juuce, and then a rush out the door to get to the gym before  7 AM to get his shooting it. It’s a great life of really simple joys. 

Earlier this week at the beginning of our study of the Doctrine and Covenants Isaiah said that he had a big concern.  I braced myself, remembering that nothing was more important in the prepared lesson than answering his questions.  We had just listened to portions of a conference talk from Elder Ballard about the importance of listening to the prophet, so I assumed his question sprung from something that we were listening to.  So, I was surprised by his question.  This is how he asked it,  "YSA wards?" It was said with some disgust.  I bursted out laughing because it caught me off guard and I found his evident distaste for YSA wards comical.

I explained to him why I was laughing and said to him, "I thought you had a real concern or serious question!"

"It is a serious question! What is the Church doing? Sponsoring a dating program? I don't get it."

Okay, so some days are going to be more spiritual than others.  But, in general, I am shocked by how much additional time I am getting with Isaiah this year.  I love doing seminary with him.  Also, we are making sure to focus on him in the evening in homework club and going over the kids homework together.  In addition, he comes home for lunch in the afternoon because it is an open campus and he has an hour off.  So far, it has been a really special year of being able to really focus on the kids and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

The Grouse Grind

 We had a wonderful hike this weekend. We were surprised at how steep the trail was. The trail we took was called the grouse grind. The trail is broken up into four sections and we told the kids that we could take a water break every quarter of the hike. The first section of the hike I resumed her typical role that I play on a family hike. I interact with the kids, try to distract them from what they’re doing, try to add to 10 by playing games, and try to encourage them and how amazing I think that they are.   That was short lived  on this hike.    I quickly learned that I did not have the energy to talk with a concentration to be able to help drag other people along. I had only one task that I could accomplish, I need to drag myself up that mountain   It was a busy trail with many people going up. The entire way is stairs because it is so steep. It is the equivalent of going up to hundred story building.  By the end of the hike I was so exhausted I felt like I was going to throw up. I knew, I sensed, I needed to lay down. It’s like these primal instincts take over and you know what it will take for your body to survive. I needed water and I needed to lay down somewhere. I did both of those things. I was surprised to see I was drenched in sweat.  I find it deeply satisfying to push my body that hard and I am so grateful for the opportunity. I could have never done this hike without work. Never have I participated so little with the children on a hike. Never when I push myself that is in the heart on my own, let alone with the kids    I recovered after about 30 minutes. I cannot believe how beautiful British Columbia is. I am going to absolutely love this year    I am relying so heavily upon the blessings that Dad H made to the kids before we left. I think to myself as Rachel is climbing that mountain that I am being her understand and know that she is stronger than she realizes. When I said is afraid to go to school full of Asians in a different culture, I remind myself that this will prepare him for his future life work. And when I look at while I am enjoying nature, I am filled with joy because I know that this is what will comfort him and help him to be happy and these years.

The Temple

I went to the temple 2 weeks ago.  While there, I was thinking to myself that life can surprise us and seem unfair.  Then I thought about the people I was doing the work for.  The temple was the place that for them, all that was unfair in this life was beginning to be made fair through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It isn't fair that I had  the Gospel in my life, and they didn't.  But, through the Lord and through me, they can have the blessing just as if they had been born with them!!! They get all of the ones that I have enjoyed.  Thinking of that made me think of the temple as a giant symbol saying, "Someday, all that was unfair in this life will be made right through Jesus Christ."

More Precious than Gold

So, as I was getting ready for church this morning William asked me a question that I have been thinking about all day.

William:  "Mom, why are jewels so valuable? Why do people pay so much money for them?"

My words:  "I guess because humans value what is rare."

My thoughts:  What is the most rare and valuable commodity?  Wouldn't it be a happy family life? How can that even compare to a diamond?  What could bring your more happiness than a happy family? Interestingly, this goal is in reach to even the poorest, most obscure among us.  It frequently eludes the rich and famous.   We can  have that happiness as we fill our lives with love, suppress selfishness, practice self-discipline when we feel impatient, laugh, and love God.

I am so happy to say that i have had so many happy moments since moving to Vancouver.  The kids have gotten along better than they have in years.  I was so afraid that Isaiah would find our life quite dull without any kids his age. Surprisingly, he has been so willing to go along with walks in the forest and has introduced games to play as a family.   I have loved connecting with him and being his friend.

In general, it has been nice to focus more on my kids.  I have really appreciated Mark's help with task I would like to accomplish. Pulling off a family outing or  projects like unpacking the house or getting the kids ready for school are so much easier with a partner.  I feel like my kids seem happier, healthier and better adjusted.  I am having a lot of fun in this gorgeous setting. I love focusing on helping Isaiah to be successful in school with Mark.  I think it is going to be a great year

We Did It!!! Again!

I can't believe we actually moved to another country.  I felt such relief to have concluded this task of unpacking.  It is a task that has been with me for a year-of tasks to be completed or looming over me.   First it was how to have our home in a furnished, yet rentable state-leaving things that we didn't mind getting used.  Then it was what to take in our car to use in Utah for a year.  When I got to Utah in was a year of constantly refiguring or moving our stuff in order to keep my family together as much as possible, and minimize the impact on those who so generously let us stay with them. That included moving our stuff around several times in Emily's home, moving to an apartment in SLC, changing apartments later in the winter,  When the decision was made to come to Canada, life got more complicated still.  How would we move from a 4,000 square foot home to a 1,200 square foot apartment? How much of our stuff would fit without making the new home feet too crowded? Would our furniture made for a large home even fit the smaller apartment?  It turns out that most of our furniture would not fit.  We sold many of our furnishings--the dining table and chairs, the desks, the tables, the couch, the treadmill, the basketball hoop, etc.  That was a huge task.  There would be some furnishings that would go to family members in Utah.  We would need to pick up a load of stuff from Utah to take to Canada as well as a load from Ohio.  It was such a complicated move.  It makes me tired just writing about it.  We found a moving company who would pick up our things in Ohio, drive to Utah to do a drop off of unwanted furniture, and a pick up of our Utah things.  Originally we planned on being able to fill our van with the Utah items.  However, we found it was less complicated to sell our van and just buy a new one in Canada.  When we arrived to Canada it was to a lovely unfurnished apartment.  We brought sleeping bags and camping sleeping pads with us on the plane and used those for a couple of weeks.  That is when we learned that our stuff wouldn't be arriving from Utah for more than a month.  Mark at that point decided to fly to Utah and drive our things out in a U-Haul.  My dad, being the kind soul that he is, jumped at the chance for a road trip with Mark last minute and joined him.  Our things came from Ohio several days later.  We were so crammed into  our apartment with our boxes, we couldn't hardly unpack.  It was different from our other moves because we came with too much stuff.  We can't fit another thing into our apartment.  We have taken lots to donate and throw away.  Our other moves started more sparsely and we accumulated as time went on. Each of our moves was hard for different reasons, but I think that this one was the most complicated.  It makes the relief that it is over all the more sweet.

List of Moves
Provo Utah-moved by renting a UHaul. 

Russel Park Davis, CA— moved across the street by caring the things in our arms and using a cart. 

Orchard Park Davis, CA— moved with my parents help and our trusty, green Toyota Tercel. 

Sacramento, CA— sold almost everything we had at a garage sale to fund the last of our interviews. Gave away the rest. Packed up what we could in our green Toyota Tercel. 

Valencia, CA— fit whatever we could in the trusty, green Toyota Tercel

Shoreline Ridge, Salt Lake City, UT— we got kicked out of this apartment after living there for less than a year. Because they decided to rent the apartments to undergraduates. Isaiah was such a helper to me at his five years of Age. I put Rachel in the baby Bjorn filled a cart full of stuff and walked it over to the medical towers. By the end of the night Isaiah said that his shoulders were really bothering him and he didn’t understand why. Poor guy.

 
Medical Plaza— I don’t remember how we did that move

Diestel Road— I remember that we bought a van right before we did the move to LaConner road home. That van did the move for us. 

Connor Road Fort Douglas Home

 Salt Lake City, UT— this was another sell everything that you own and give the rest away 

Valencia, CA— this was a short stopping point, just three months. 

Swarthmore, PA— here we were moved professionally bag company that hired us in Fort Worth, TX. 

Fort Worth, TX— here we remove 

professionally as well. 

Dublin, Ohio. This was a crazy move. We just had to estimate what we thought we would need for the next year and put that in our van. We then packed up most of our other things and put them in the basement so that our home could be rented furnished, but without our personal belongings.  

Utah— this year was full of moves. We moved Emily‘s house as she graciously opened her home to us and we tried to squeeze our selves in without making too big of an impact. This desire to try to make our two families work caused little moves around her home. At Christmas time we moved to grandma and grandpa Halverson’s basement. Meanwhile, MARK got into student housing in October I needed to switch to a different student housing in January.  

Our move to British Columbia was very complicated. We had to sell many of our furnishings in our home because we were moving to a much smaller apartment. We calculated what we would need for our new apartment and then sold and gave away everything else. There was a lot of stuff that grandma Halverson convinced us that we could save in Utah so that we could have it with me left Vancouver. She went with me to Ohio to pack up our things and sort through what we would really need to be taking. We supervised the movers loading up the truck and came home for days later exhausted. The regional plan was that our movers would drive through town, drop off some items and then pick up are you to things and bring them to Canada. It didn’t work that way. MARK needed to end up flying back to Utah, loading up on U-Haul truck with my dad and driving out to Utah stuff here. We flew out as a family and bought a new car here. We sold our van just days before we left Utah. 

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Kid's Stories

Mister Twister's song he made up this week:

A quesadilla could talk.
A quesadilla could talk.
I couldn't believe it
so I punched it in the guts.

This is sung to the tune of Hi Ho the Dairy-o

This is his second version

A quesadilla could talk.
A quesadilla could talk.
I couldn't believe it
so I socked it in the block.

He is so playful and fun.  We enjoy him so much.

Miss R's experience to remember for the week:

There was some drama in the first grade this week.  On the playground the boys were chasing the girls.  They were pulling their arms and trapping them.  Rachel got mad because she thought they were playing too rough.  So, she told the boys, "Stop! You could break their arm and if it breaks it all the way to their back it could break the spinal cord and they wouldn't be able to walk."  Somedays she tells us she wants to be a doctor and other days she wants to be a mother.

Women In the Scriptures

Dear Sherrie – I promised you that I was going to reply to the comment you left on my blog with an additional posting. There was too much that I wanted to say. I couldn't seem to condense my thoughts into a brief comment.

You shared with me the ninth article of faith and your belief that God will continue to reveal things. I share that belief with you. I recently wrote a post on the ninth article of faith. In that post I tried to express that I think the way we can be ready for new revelation and stay faithful to the old  is to have our minds and hearts filled with things God is currently revealing and comforted by things that he revealed in days that are past. I think it is vital that we feel the Holy Ghost every day.

I also wanted to share some thoughts that I had about your comment about women and the Scriptures. You shared your perspective that women have been "whitewashed from the Scriptures." I wasn't exactly sure what you meant by the term whitewashed. You may feel that women’s  stories were once there, but have been removed by people who didn't want them there. Or you may feel simply disappointed that there aren't more stories of the lives of women that we can feast upon.

There was a time in my life that I too was disturbed by the fact that there were so few stories of women in the Scriptures. At this time I had a conversation with a family member that helped me. I shared my concern with him and then he asked me some questions that helped me to further understand myself. He asked, "Do you feel the Holy Ghost when you read the Scriptures and get revelation for your life?" I responded that I did. Then he asked, "Do you feel that you can apply the Scriptures to your life regardless of the gender of the person in the stories or who is teaching the doctrines?"  I responded that I did. Then he asked, "Why do you care about how many stories are about men then?"

As I thought about that question I realized it was because I wondered if God loved women as much as men if they were not equally represented in the Scriptures. Because we weren’t equally represented, I wondered if He really considered us equal.  That was my true concern. I got a lot out of the Scriptures. Plenty. My real concern wasn't about the amount of airtime women got in the Scriptures. My question was did God see me as equally important as a man and of equal value.

That little conversation was a piece of  the revelation that I earnestly yearned for.

The interesting thing to me is that I  regard the Scriptures very differently in my life now than I did then. I don't feel like the Scriptures are whitewashed of women.  I can't get away from reading about women. I just finished reading the writings of Isaiah. It seemed that every chapter had references to women, counsel specific to women, feminine imagery, and validation for the typical life of a woman.

Before studying the writings of Isaiah I was reading The New Testament record of the apostles establishing the Church after Jesus Christ's atonement. I saw so many pieces that I had never seen before about the role of women within that church. I understood Paul's writings in a way that I had never before. Again it seemed like every chapter I was learning more about women.

In the past year I've done a lot of topical study about Adam and Eve and the choices made in the garden of Eden. I learned so much about women’s essential role in God’s plan.

I am so deeply grateful to be able to feel the spirit as I read the Scriptures and I treasure the revelation I receive through the gentle teaching of the Holy Ghost. So, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but sometimes I think, "Enough about the women already. I'm done thinking about that." Apparently, I am not. I still have much more to learn, and for some reason God wants to teach me about it.

Do I find women in the Scriptures because I am seeing references I never saw before? Is it because I  have studied more and know the scriptures better?  Or am I finding them because God is speaking to me about women as I read scriptures? Is it because the scriptures are living and reading them can be a conversation with God about the subjects He wishes to teach us about?  Probably all these answers are true.

I simply wanted to share my perspective and how it has changed over the years.  I love you, Sherrie.  

Our Questions and Beliefs That We Put on our Shelves

Camilla Kimball once said,  “I’ve always had an inquiring mind. I’m not satisfied just to accept things. I like to follow through and study things out. I learned early to put aside those gospel questions that I couldn’t answer. I had a shelf of things I didn’t understand, but as I’ve grown older and studied and prayed and thought about each problem, one by one I’ve been able to better understand them.”

She twinkles, “I still have some questions on that shelf, but I’ve come to understand so many other things in my life that I’m willing to bide my time for the rest of the answers.” (https://www.lds.org/ensign/1975/10/camilla-kimball-lady-of-constant-learning?lang=eng)

My brother in law once pointed out to me that he liked to use that shelf analogy for the 9th article of faith.

"We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God."

There are three things in that verse that we believe in.  Jared likes to think of them as three shelves in our mind. 

The first shelf is filled with our belief in all that God has revealed.  Imagine it, a shelf lined with these pots of testimony.  Each canister is labeled with a truth that you have come to have a testimony of--the atonement, the truth of The Book of Mormon, the goodness of God and His great love for us as our Father.

Upon that shelf is balanced another shelf.  That shelf is full of containers that represent belief in all that He does now reveal. That shelf is also full, but it is full with all that God is revealing to you today. There is a container with the the truths that you learned in your scripture study that morning, another for the spirit that you felt for when you explained your believes with your friend not of your faith.  There also canisters filled with the peace that you felt when you repented today, the assurance of truths that you pondered as you were going about the business of your life, and another for the growing testimony that came as a result of chipping away at your responsibilities from Church, and reaching out in love and service to your fellowman.  

  And upon that second shelf is balanced the third shelf.  It is filled with containers representing questions that we have about those things that God will yet reveal.  That can be mysteries of the Kingdom of God, or things that can just be mysteries to us, while those around us seem to understand.  It is a part of life to have this shelf.  It is not wrong or bad.

Problems arise when the first and second shelves are sparse,  while we spend our time and efforts with what is on the third shelf.  Excessive weight or energy spent on this shelf can topple all three shelves.  Sometimes when we are in this state we are more desirous to follow the Facebook buzz about  current religious issues rather than studying General Conference.  We might be more interested in other's writings and opinions about the prophets, rather than reading the words of the prophets themselves. We pour over comments left on internet pages, but no longer pour over our scriptures. Our problem isn't that we don't have answers, it is that we don't have faith.

I don't think answers to Gospel questions don't  come in the scenario I described.  I have had times when I had  questions that seemed to halt my spiritual progress. Sometimes those questions have been doctrinal and other times they have just been confusion about why God would allow me to go through a particularly difficult experience.  Answers have seemed to come to me as I have done the following: 

 1. Been honest about the fact that I have a question. 
2. Asked my question to God. 
3. Spent some time studying and thinking about it. 
4. Spent the majority of my time doing the things that God has asked me to do.  Serve in my family, in my church callings, and to reach out in love to those around me.

We can not let the presence of our Gospel questions hijack all of the doctrine we can be learning, and the rich spiritual experiences we can be having. I think the bottom line is that every day we do all that we can to feel the Holy Ghost that day.  While some of that time is spent alone in private study and contemplation, much of it is spent as we do the work of our day.  The Lord taught the doctrine that if we lose our life, then we would find it (Matthew 10:39).  God seems to be more willing, or maybe more able to give us or spiritual answers when our lives are filled with service.  The answers come gently,  distilling upon our souls as gently and imperceptibly as  the dews from heaven.  And the best news is that the process was lovely.  It was filled with giving love to others, lifting those around us, filling the Spirit in our scripture study, and privately promising to God our faith and trust in Him.  

From Elder Cook's Oct. 2012 conference address, "Can Ye Feel So Now?"

"In one of the most profound verses in all of scripture, Alma proclaims, 'If ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?'

It is not surprising that some in the Church believe they can’t answer Alma’s question with a resounding yes. They do not 'feel so now.' They feel they are in a spiritual drought. Others are angry, hurt, or disillusioned. If these descriptions apply to you,⁷ it is important to evaluate why you cannot “feel so now.”

Many who are in a spiritual drought and lack commitment have not necessarily been involved in major sins or transgressions, but they have made unwise choices. Some are casual in their observance of sacred covenants. Others spend most of their time giving first-class devotion to lesser causes. Some allow intense cultural or political views to weaken their allegiance to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Some have immersed themselves in Internet materials that magnify, exaggerate, and, in some cases, invent shortcomings of early Church leaders. Then they draw incorrect conclusions that can affect testimony. Any who have made these choices can repent and be spiritually renewed.

Immersion in the scriptures is essential for spiritual nourishment.⁸ The word of God inspires commitment and acts as a healing balm for hurt feelings, anger, or disillusionment.⁹ When our commitment is diminished for any reason, part of the solution is repentance.^10"

On Being Pruned

"Every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit."  John 15:2

God has made no secret of His intent to prune us--to have us suffer in the short term, that we might be more productive in the long term. 

Regardless of his stated intent, I have been surprised by these chastening experiences.  I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I thought that my attempts to live a holy, consecrated life merited the reward of living  a happy life. 

As I scratched my head in confusion with why God would allow or even desire for me to have such painful experiences, it was suggested to me that we are given trials so that we can have compassion for others in their suffering.

I was grasping for a strong answer that I could hold on to, that I might steady myself.  And that explanation didn't feel strong.  It felt very flimsy.  I imagined myself, after years of suffering, having a 10 minute conversation with someone going through similar difficulties.  In that conversation I would have that promised compassion that came at the price of having gone through similar trials.  I thought to myself, "No, thank you.  I'll fake having the compassion instead."  My heartache seemed to be such an exquisitely high price to pay for compassion for  the suffering of others.  And I was dubious that my imagined, future suffering friend would notice or even care significantly about my increase in compassion to merit such a price. 

I don't feel this way anymore.

I had an exquisite day yesterday.  I felt joy.  I believe that joy came from an increase in compassion.  Maybe the joyful life that is a reward of righteousness comes more from the attributes we acquire, rather than the circumstances we find ourselves in.  

My service was so simple. I rearranged my morning to be able to go to the park with Master I before his school to play basketball with him.  I cleaned my house the rest of the morning.  I tried to make it fun for Twister by chasing him with the vacuum, helping him to earn quarters by doing jobs with me, and letting him play with his toys as long as his attention would permit.  We actually had quite a fun morning.  We tried to help a girl that had just moved here from New Jersey to make friend and fit in by having a party for her at the pool.  Then we gathered all the 11 year old boys to play basketball to burn of the stress of the first week of middle school with some intense exercise and wholesome fun with their friends.

What a simple day, what a joyful day. To look on others, contemplate their troubles, to have our hearts break for them, to search our minds with what we might do to help, and then to reach out in our very simple way to show love... this is compassion.  This is what I paid such a high price for.  And it was worth it.With an increase in compassion, I increase in my ability to experience the joyful, abundant life. 

I am learning that the amount of joy we feel in this life is directly proportionate to the amount of love we feel for others. And so we can find a  joy that no man  can take  from us.

It is experiences like these that make me trust God more and trust myself less.  Whenever I scratch my head or raise my eyebrow, at something the Lord taught, in time I learn He really was right.  I have had this experience enough times that I recognize the pattern.  I believe that God will eventually answer my other questions that I have in the same way He has in the past.  This is faith.

 John 15:8 "Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples."

Eve's Mandate to Mother

The first woman on the Earth was given a name signifying that she was the "mother of all living" Genesis 3:20. What does that teach us?   Was it a hint of her past premortal contribution or of her divine destiny to bring life to the Earth?   Was that title teaching that all living things would come forth, at least in part, from her creative contribution and sanctified sacrifice? Did it mean that all that continued to have life would be a result of her nurturing way? When Adam called his his wife "the mother of all living," was he recognizing that without her life-giving influence he would die, not to mention all of civilization?

I sincerely don't know the answer to my musings. But, I sense that  there was something grand and sweeping in that declaration that Eve was "the mother of all living."  

Not only was Eve's name prophetic of the life she would lead, the consequences given to her in the Garden were indicative that motherhood would be her sacred responsibility and role. The scriptures teach that By her great sacrifice would she bring forth children.  

"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children."  (Genesis 3:16)

 I suspect part of that  there are some sorrows that last longer than labor, and that no epidural can ease. Those sorrows can come even after a child has left the home and all that is left for the mother to do is to hope and pray; to love and to sorrow. These sorrows, inherent to motherhood, are part of the refining role God gave to us in Eden. Perhaps the joys and sorrows of motherhood can be felt by all women who embrace who God intended them to become, regardless of their situation in life. 

I have a friend who was promised in a blessing that she would be a mother in Israel. Yet, it appears she will not bare children in this life. This has led her to wonder that there might be a more expansive meaning than she originally thought. Maybe it was not so much a prophesy  of her reproductive capability as it was a description of the life she would lead. 

She loved and believed in the goodness of her husband, almost to a fault. While all others around her gave up on him, with what can be described only as a mother's love, she continued to hope and believe that he was better than the mistakes he had made. 

Her experiences in her marriage drove her to fight those influences that had so harmed her and help her fellow travelers that had been similarly wounded in life's journey.  

Teaching was her profession.  As one of her students, I can say that she not only encouraged me intellectually, she nurtured my confidence in myself as well.

I knew her when her life was busy teaching and  writing a dissertation.  But, she still found time to be a Nursery Leader and to love those children in her no nonsense sort of way. After she served in that calling that is so typically shunned, she became the young women's president. I was not able to see her serve in that calling, but I heard her speak of those young women with such understanding, such love, and such desire to protect them that I am sure that those girls were similarly blessed by her service. 

When it became evident that she would not have the blessing of being able to spend her life devoted to raising her own children, she sought to live next to her parents so that she could spend her life caring for them. What more apt description of this woman can there be other than a mother to all living? 

Sherri Dew taught, "Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living” 3 —and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, 4righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. 5 Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us."

“Motherhood is more than bearing children. … It is the essence of who we are as women.”

 When my sister Emily looks at pictures of herself as a missionary  in France and reflects on the great love she had for those she taught and the great sacrifice she was willing to pay to help them, she says that she sees the face of a mother.

Margaret Thatcher was a leader of a nation, incredibly iron willed and she has been described as a mother to that nation.  

Ann Sullivan, teacher of Helen Keller, shared her feelings about her profession in words that sound like that of a mother,  “For years I have know the teacher’s one supreme reward, that of seeing the child she has taught grow into a living force in the world.”

She also said, “I know that the education of this child will be the distinguishing event of my life, if I have the brains and perseverance to accomplish it.”

(Helen’s Eyes: A Photobiography of Annie Sullivan, Helen Keller’s Teacher by Marfie Ferguson Delano).

I have a friend that devoted her life to both being a part-time Doctor and a mother.  Her perspective on life was lived seamlesly with one purpose- to love and nurture, to heal and facilitate progress, as a mother.  She did this for her children and her patients.

Nancy Grace Roman is a noted astrophysicist and was one of the first female executives at NASA. The pinnacle of her career was her work in the creation of the Hubble Telescope. She earned the title "Mother of the Hubble" for her creative contribution to that scientific feat.

Florence Nightingale is known as the mother of nursing.

These are examples of strong, vibrant women who contributed much to society.  If we tried to search for one word to describe their attributes, their aim, and their accomplishments-- the word could be MOTHER.

A most beloved leader from my youth went through some very trying experiences in the years when her nest was emptying out.  Her husband lost his faith and somewhere in that process, lost his admiration for who she was and what she had given her life to.  Undergoing such a seismic blow to her family structure and reality, she sought professional counseling.  I was so disappointed to hear some of the counsel the therapist gave to help my cherished leader.  She would say things to her like, "There you go again. You have to be everyone’s mother."  The therapist would demean the choices that my friend made to care for her sisters, parents, and others around her.  She criticized the way she was always looking towards everyone else’s needs.  This therapist used the word “mother” and the desire to be a mother to others in a derogatory way.  It was a bad thing to be.  To use such a holy word, then to make it into a negative swear word, I think that is blasphemy. 

I was not only sad that this therapist desecrated the word mother, I was sad because she criticized the great gift that woman gave to me. The truth is that I became who I am today much because of what this woman did for me. She was one of my leaders in my youth. The Gospel was the center of her life and permeated everything that she did. She was my early morning seminary teacher Monday through Friday. She formed a youth chorus that taught to to worship through singing. We met every Sunday evening to practice. Because she was my best friend's mother, I spent nearly every weekend at her house. When I contemplate the amount of food I ate at her home, I am ashamed. Many of the dishes I make for my own family are foods that I ate in her home. She was always conscious of my needs and frequently bought me a new outfit. Of all that she gave me, I think most of all I am grateful that she loved me and saw the good in me. I felt that love constantly. What other word could be used to explain what she gave me, who she was to me, other than mother?

When I am my truest self, I am the mother of all living.  I am a mother to children in primary, to my parents,  to my fellow sisters in Relief Society, preparing meals for someone that has just had a baby or another who lost a family member.

Sherri Dew taught the expansive meaning of what it means to be a mother in these words, “Loving and leading—these words summarize not only the all-consuming work of the Father and the Son, but the essence of our labor, for our work is to help the Lord with His work.”

Being a mother is not just the highest, noblest calling. It is the highest gift we can receive--the gift of Eternal Life.

In the Broadway musical Les Miserables, the character Jean Valjean reflects on his identity asking, "Who am I?" After his considerations he determines that he must never forget his roots and thunders the answer that he was once the prisoner known as 24601. When I consider my past, who I really am, and who I am destined to become, I want to thunder my own answer: I am a mother!