Confessions of a Closet NPR Fan

I consider myself to be very conservative, but I listen to NPR.  I can't get enough of it. My appetite started in college of learning and pondering about "...things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations (Doctrine and Covenants 88:79)." My appetite has only grown and listening in the car while I am out and about is such an easy way for me to get news.  I frequently have a different perspective than the ones that I listen to, and if it is offensive I turn it off.  But, generally I love learning about the perplexities of the nations and the thoughts our citizens have about those issues.

Anyway,while I was in the car today, on the the way to go shopping. I caught the end of the  Dianne Rheem Show.  They were discussing motherhood.  They were talking about how when one becomes a mother one has a feeling of a loss of identity.  I did only catch the end, but I was disappointed in this conversation because it seemed to present their perspective as the only reality.  I wished I could call in, but I couldn't, so I have to write instead.  This is my perspective:

I understand the feeling of loosing one's identity and I suppose I felt that to some degree, but I experienced the opposite in to such a greater degree.  When I became a mother I felt like I felt like I found my identity much more than having the feeling that I lost my identity. I  gave expression to my deepest innate urges to nurture, to love,  to build relationships,  and to build people.  As I have grown into this responsibility, I have said to myself, "This is who I really am." I don't just mean my life's work, I mean the identity of my spirit.  I mean who I was before I came to Earth and had a body and who I will be after I die. I mean my eternal nature.  When I became a mother I found who I was and who I would always be.

I find motherhood to be extremely satisfying. It was more satisfying to give in this way than any other endeavor to do these same things in different realms. If I wasn't a mother I would be a teacher or I would care for the sick because I love to teach and care for others.  I plan on teaching when my work as a mother is no longer a full-time job and teaching is how I made my living before staying at home.  Teaching is satisfying and fulfilling, but for me, being a mother is more so.  I think the effects of a mother are farther reaching, the love is more intense, and the sacrifice is greater.  I cannot imagine having work feel more fulfilling than what I have felt in motherhood.

I, like everyone, have had discouraging moments when I am doing the absolutely mundane and I wonder, "What am I doing with my life?" I have also had plenty of my husband's colleagues look at me and think or ask outright the same question, "What are you doing with your life?"   I have pondered the best way to explain why I have decided to spend my life changing diapers, making dinners, cleaning a house, etc. to someone that is puzzled by my choice.   Some people can accept that staying at home with a child might be the best thing for the child, but how it could be the best thing for the mother seems unfathomable. For me, the answer is in your definition of the purpose of life.  Is the purpose of life to get money, to acquire the fine things of life, to travel, to have fame, to be entertained, or to have success in your chosen career? I don't believe that any of these things are the purpose of our lives, but we can give our lives to these things unknowingly.  I believe that the purpose of life is to become more like God so that we can return to live with Him someday with our families.  I don't believe that there is any endeavor that gives me the opportunity to become more like my Father in Heaven than being a mother on this Earth.