Do You Want a Knuckle Sandwich?

I was watching the Relief Society Conference and noticed that the leaders in their talks shared that they loved the women of the Relief Society.  I wondered at why it is important for those who are teaching to love whom they teach and why it is so important that the student feels loved by the teacher.

Later this week I remembering an interesting experience that Mark had.  He sat down with a three year old patient and her parents to discuss the risks and benefits of a procedure that he was going to do.  This little girl had spent much of her young life in the hospital and in her mind the doctors were her enemies that tortured her.  When Mark entered the room she immediately made a fist, shook it at him, and asked if he wanted a knuckle sandwich.  Mark just laughed and said no.  He chatted with her briefly but spent the time having the necessary conversation with the parents.  Throughout the conversation when he would look at her she would bring her fist up again and give him and warning look with her eyes.

The poor little girl.  I wish she could understand that Mark doesn't want to hurt her.  In fact, he loves her. It was the big blue eyes of a toddler with a scar on his chest that broke his heart in medical school and first turned him to helping children. I remember him hurrying home to tell me about the surgical case and showing the picture of the little boy. He searched for the words to try to express the strong feelings he had as he heard of this boy's plight and how touched he was that his life was saved.   His words caught in his throat when he said, "I can't stop thinking of this boy. Do you want to see the picture?"he asked lamely. If his words failed in helping me to understand, then I got the message when I saw Mark brush away the tears on his cheeks  as he stared at the picture on his computer of the boy. It was in that conversation that I understood what this meant to him and I let go of my reservations about him becoming a pediatric CT surgeon.   Since then Mark's specialty has changed, but he has devoted his life and sacrificed so much to be able to help sick children all the same.  If that little girl could just understand that Mark doesn't want to hurt her.  He wants to help her because he loves her.

I don't know if I have ever made more enemies than when I taught a lesson about how important I felt that it was to nurture our families by preparing dinner.  I had no idea anyone was going to be hurt. My friend explained to me that the reason that people were mad was because they felt guilty.   I guess you never know when you are going to hurt someone when you are teaching.

I thought back to my Relief Society meeting and I imagine those Relief Society leaders saying, "I hope that nothing I said hurt, but if it did, know that I am filled with love for you.  I am sacrificing my life to be able to help you."  And then, in my mind's eye, I see myself and wonder if I am not the three year old girl with her fist up; daring anyone to get near her and get a knuckle sandwich.