So, I owe Miss R five dollars. I have a deal with the kids that if I raise my voice I owe them five dollars. She told me that I yelled. I don't think I yelled, but I was pretty mad and I am sure I raised my voice. I have learned that when I am that mad I just can't even open my mouth. I have to wait until the blood stops boiling.
Yet inspire of these naughty things, I so deeply love children. I love to see their happiness, their laughter, their love. They are so pure and so good. I love to make their life happy. I find deep satisfaction from being a mother. I don't think there is any profession that could even come close to what I experience here. I wonder sometimes what I will do once I have raised my small brood. I guess I want more of the same thing. Teach Kindergarten?
Twister is so, so, so fun. He is the real Curious George and gets into plenty of mischief, but he is always smiling and happy and laughing. I love him. He makes me an all onlooking observers laugh. The day in the library made all of the patrons' day.
Master I has reached the point in the school year where it isn't all rosy for him. He has frustrations with how little time he has to play because of a long day at school followed by homework. He feels like teachers are made at him all day long even though he is a good kid. And he is annoyed with one of his friends that constantly pinches him. I asked him what he thought he could do about this last situation. He told me, "I don't know. I have already yelled at ____ to tell him to stop. What am I supposed to do? Talk to a guidance counselor? I hate my guidance counselor this year. She is mean. And I think that guidance counselors are weird. What is the purpose anyway? They just want to get in other people's business and listen. Why should I talk or listen to them?" This made me laugh so hard. This was our conversation Friday night. But this morning, Monday, I felt sad for him as he dreaded going to school.
He wanted me to explain to him again why I won't homeschool him. I told him that I didn't think that he would like me telling him all day long what to do. He already can't stand me telling him to unload the dishwasher, brush his teeth, take a shower, practice piano, etc during the small amount of time I am with him. I told him that I worried that he would hate being with me all day having me tell him what to do. He listened closely and then humbly nodded in agreement. I asked him if there was anything I could do to make it better for him. He told me that he didn't know. I offered to let him play instead of doing our morning jobs and walking to school and that I would drive him to school last minute. He liked that idea. He hoped right into my bed and played on the iPad for the next half hour. I know it isn't a good long term solution. Just an experiment to see if listening and trying empathize would help. I do wish he was in school for much less time. I wish that he felt that the teachers thought of him as smart and good. I wish that he had more time to play and I try to protect that time fiercely.
I made Miss R go to soccer this weekend. She cried when I got out her green soccer shirt and said that she wanted to wear a dress. The first hour is practice. She was willing to do it as long as I did it with her. But she flat out refused to play in the game. We settled for cheering on the sidelines for our team. Finally Twister had to go potty so we decided to home home. Miss R was exuberant. She ran for the first time all day. Unfortunately, the running was to the car instead of on the field and while she ran she yelled to me, "You have made me so happy! I am so glad that I get to go home!" We really tried to make it fun. Notice the pink soccer shoes, the pink soccer sock, and the pink soft pants.
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