Admiral General Master I

Last week he received a notice from the Primary Presidency.  It said, "Thank you for accepting this assignment to give a talk in Primary..."  It was just a form letter that they give to the children to inform them of when it is their turn to give a talk.  I am sure that none of the other children don't give a second thought to the wording.  Master I was incensed.

I could see he was irritated when he came up to me after church with a furrowed brow.  He said, "I don't get it.  Listen to this.  (He then reads the letter to me.) I didn't tell them I would speak.  Did you tell them I would speak?"  He asked incredulously.  I tried to smooth things over telling them it was just a form letter and we take turns giving talks.  He emphatically refused saying, "I will not give a talk!"

I couldn't tell if he was more nervous about giving a talk or still irritated that they assumed that he would give one without properly asking him. " My mind raced with ways I could respond.   from, "Just give the talk." To,  "How embarrassing."  I have mothered him long enough that I have learned that it won't work for me to tell him, "Yes you will."  I started rehearsing ways in my mind I would tell them why he was offended by their letter and then decided to just tell him that he needed to tell them himself.  He agreed that he would talk to them, but I wasn't totally satisfied.  I want him to have the experience to speak in Church often.  I think it is a blessing of being a member of our Church that you have to overcome the fear of public speaking because you have to do it so often from so young.

Now that we had resolved some of the issue surrounding the way that he was asked to give a talk  I wanted to make sure that his reluctance came solely from his fear of speaking in front of others.  I don't believe in asking him to do something he doesn't believe in, but I do believe in persuading him to do things that he does believe in that are hard.   So, I asked him why he didn't want to do it.  He confirmed it by saying, "I don't want to speak in front of all of those people!"  

So I resorted to my new ace in the hole...food.  I told him, "I'll make you any dessert you want if you give that talk." Instead of seeing myself as a mother that was telling him It was too much to resist.  He gave in.

When I approach him and carry myself in such a way that  I see myself crossing my arms, holding my ground and saying, "You will do such and such a thing."  It never works with him.  I have more success when I carry myself in such a way that  I imagine myself as patiently, even painstakingly trying multiple ways to persuade him and call to him.  I don't always get him to do what I would like, but this mode of persuasion is the only way I can ever have any real success with him.  Only in this way can I  retain his heart and guide him to do what I would like.

The subject of his talk was that God knows him personally  and loves him.  I was helping him write his talk.  I wanted all of the ideas to come from him so I asked him, "How do you know that God loves you?"

He thought about that for a while and said, "Because He gives me agency.  He lets me choose."  I had never thought of it in quite that way before.   I never thought of His allowing us to choose as a manifestation of His love, but as I pondered Master I's uniquely independent personality I could see how that would make him feel really loved.