Conversations with my Posterity

I have been having an imaginary conversation with my posterity in my mind this evening in which they ask me, "How did you overcome ______?"  The blank is filled in with some of the harder things that I have been through in my life.

My answer to my posterity is, "What?  You think I can give you a one word answer of how I worked through such a complicated that took me months or years to get through?" As I look back on some of those times tonight I think of my Wonderful Counselor, the Lord Jesus Christ.

This is the rest of my answer to my posterity: "It is too messy and too complicated to give you a guidebook.  Besides, even if you go through the exact same experiences that I have had and have the same baggage that you are lugging around in your life, you will respond to it differently than I have and so you will need to be counseled differently that I was.  But, I want to tell you that I know that you have a Wonderful Counselor too.  And that He will help you.  He will listen to your erroneous and jumbled thinking when you are at your lowest points.  He will accept you when you come to Him and are a mess. When you are humble His comfort will come gently, almost imperceptibly. At times when I didn't feel humble, but felt indignant and hurt instead, it helped me to remember times in my life when I had a deep need of a Savior and He saved me.  Then I felt humble again.  He knows how to sort through your brokeness.  And He knows how to help you work through it one step at a time.
I can't tell you how I got through because the help was given to me in such small, bite-sized doses that changed every week  or day according to what I needed.  As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be."

And if my posterity says to me, "But Mom/Grandma, I feel ______."  The blank is any number of  negative emotions that are supposed to shock me.  However, I am not shocked because I already had to get over  the shock  I felt for myself when  I had those negative feelings and thoughts when I went through that hard experience.

And so my answer will be, "I know.  I felt that way too."

Tom Sawyer, Joseph in Egypt and the Case of the Split Personality Disorder

During the administration of the sacrament Master I turned to me and said, "The bread tastes terrible."  I didn't respond so he repeated himself, "The bread is gross."

I whisper to him, "It doesn't matter the flavor of the bread. We are just supposed to remember that Jesus gave his life for us. Did you know that the during the time of Joseph Smith there was a time that the members of the Church were so poor that they didn't even have bread?  They used potato peels instead.  Doesn't that sound gross?"

With an expression indicating that there was a simple solution to all of this, if people would just see the world as he does, he said totally seriously, "I think we should just get Jolly Ranchers instead of bread.  I mean then you could really focus!" He said that last part emphatically, with out a smile.

Sundays and showers.  These are the two hardest things in my boy's life.  Every week it is the same when Sunday morning rolls around.  He complains about it being Sunday and complains that he hates it.  He puts off getting ready to the last minute and then fights us when we ask him to take a shower.  He has always hated Church and he has always dreaded showers.  I am ashamed to admit that I don't even have him take a shower everyday anymore.  I have been worn down.  Ever since we moved from Utah I can only work up the motivation to make him do it once a week.  Even then he still fights me and protests in total exasperation about the injustice that he has to shower.

Here was last Saturday night's conversation:

Master I:   "Mom, can I take a bath?"

Mom:  "Yes, but you have to finish your chores first."

We finished our chores and then I asked Master I if he would like to take his bath.

Master I: "No, I was just saying that to get out of doing chores."

Mom:  "Well, you have to take a shower.   You haven't had one all week!  You can either take one tonight or you can take it in the morning.  I think it would be better to take it tonight."

Master I:  "Why would it be better tonight?"

Mom:  "Because you get mad at me every time that I ask you to take a shower and I think it will make tomorrow go smoother if you do it right now."

Master I: "I am going to take one in the morning."

So, this is how it went this morning:

Mom: "Get in the shower please."

Master I: "What?!!  A shower!"

But to only remember and record these experiences with my boy would be an incomplete picture of him.  Juxtaposed with all of this typical, boyish,  Tom Sawyer type of behavior we also have wonderful spiritual experiences.

On Friday night I was by myself reading in the Book of Mormon.  I am reading the last chapters in Alma, typically referred to as the "war chapters."  I am reading with the intent that I might learn how to protect my family from the battle against them.  I believe the prophets when they say that Satan is waging a war against families.  I am learning great things.  In Friday's reading I contemplated how when the war began Moroni or Heleman didn't even consider using the rising generation that would later be known as the stripling warriors.   The idea didn't even occur to them.  And yet, I think that the Nephites might have lost if it weren't for their contribution.  I just let my mind sit on that for a while.
Then I wondered, "Maybe I haven't fully realized the contribution that my 9 year old son can make in our family."

I determined that I would have a conversation with him the next day sharing the feeling that I had.  Saturday morning he woke me up by coming on to my bed and saying"Mom, I had the most interesting dreams last night."  He then shared with me his dreams.  I was fascinated.  I wish that I could record all of the details because I know that I will forget it, but he is very private and has insisted that I not share with anyone these things that he tells me.   Anyway, after his sharing I said, "How interesting!  That fits right in with these feelings I had last night..."

It was a wonderful conversation.  I was sure it was going to be a wonderful day, but it felt much more like I was raising Calvin and Hobbs rather than Joseph in Egypt.  So, who am I raising?  Both, I think.  I love to write about my experiences as a mother, because in the writing I begin to see life more clearly.   Saturday I felt oppressed about him trying to get out of cleaning, fighting taking a shower, etc.  Today, as I write, I feel blessed.  I feel like I am living the dream.  I get to raise a  typical, adventure-loving boy as well as a very special spirit.

Happy Birthday Master I

Christmas Morning 2012

Merry Christmas

This is my angel.

This is our Nativity play.  I haven't found a way yet to make it a spiritual experience.

Let's Play Dress-Up

The Warmest Spot in the House

These are all pictures I took after I went to go look for my kids and found them hanging out in my bed.  

There is something magical about having a home not quite as toasty as I might like.  It makes warms spots really magical.  We all fight over, or cuddle under my heating blanket.  It is really fun.

Ms. R Gets her First Haircut!!

Happy Thanksgiving

Writing what we were thankful for on the wall.

Teaching Madeleine how to make homemade rolls.

Getting ready to eat Thanksgiving dinner.  Honestly, I love kids.  Whenever I am with my sister Em, and she has her 5 and I have my three, I think, "This is how many kids I want!"  But, I know it would never be enough and I am just glad that I have kids and nieces and nephews to love.

Rachie lived in a Snow White dress while we were there.  I loved having so many kids there.  

We took the night before Thanksgiving to read them a book about their ancestors.  When I studied about it again this year what stuck out in my mind was what the pilgrims were willing to endure.  In England they were put into jail and their homes were ransacked.  That was scary, but the alternative was scarier to them.  From Holland they used their fortunes to come to a new land. That was difficult, but the alternative would have been more difficult.  They didn't know if they would be able to survive in a land with the natives and if they would be able to sustain their own lives off of the land.  That was terrifying, but the alternative was worse.  They endured terrible sea sickness on the journey and horrible hunger after they arrived.  Their sacrifices were so great that only 6 women surveyed and one of them was my children's ancestor.  Priscilla Mullins.   All of these sacrifices were  terrible for them to endure, but the alternative was something that they couldn't endure...a life in which they were not able to worship their God.

The next day was Thanksgiving.  We wrote up the menu with the kids and told them that they would each be responsible to cook one item on the menu.  They loved this.  Christian loved it most of all.  He made the cranberry sauce.  The entire time he was making it he kept asking Em if she thought everyone would love his sauce and if it would be the best ever.  Of course we assured him it would be.  Then when we finally tasted the sauce Em and I oohed and ahed.  He ate the attention up with a spoon.  I told him that I didn't think I would ever be able to eat another Thanksgiving meal without this sauce, but I didn't think I would ever be able to make it the same.  He took my compliment, and my dilemma to heart.  He immediately wrote up instructions:

1. Mix it-Good!

2. Mash with the edge of the spoon

3.  Eat!

We wrote little question about gratitude,  wrapped them in tin foil, and baked them in the rolls.  Durring Thanksgiving dinner the kids got little questions that we made.  The questions were supposed to help them think of what they were grateful for this year.  Some of the questions were:

1.  What is something nice a friend did for you this year?

2.  What would be the hardest to live without-- heating, air conditioning, running water, or electricity?

3.  What freedom are you grateful for?  Who helped you to have that freedom?

4.What was something beautiful in nature that you saw this year?

5.  When was a time that you felt that God loved you this year?

6.  When was a time that you felt the Holy Ghost this year?

7.  When was a time that you felt loved by your family this year.

The last question happened to be the one that Christian opened.  He gave his answer in three words, "The cranberry sauce."

Valley Forge

I can't say that the kids were as moved as I was by Valley Forge.  I loved it.  I studied about it ahead of time and learned that the willingness of the soldiers to stay and stick it out that winter was a large part of our winning of the war.  It wasn't a battle, it was just enduring.  But, what they had to endure was so hard...not enough food, shelter, or clothing.  The British didn't know how run ragged they were.  Washington would send letters that he knew would be intercepted by spies, reporting that they were strong, that their numbers were much greater than they were.  The truth was that they were just trying to survive.  But in surviving they won the war.  As luck would have it, the weather was so cold on the day that we went.  It made it a more poignant...and a shorter trip.  Because the landscape is largely unchanged you can really imagine those soldiers there.  Something happened to me.  I think I felt the Holy Ghost.  I felt so grateful for the sacrifices of my ancestors.  I wondered if I was kind of like them in trying to endure the winters of life in order to eventually win the war.

Happy Halloween

Rachie was Rapunzel, I was Mother Gothel, and Master I was a caveman.

 Master I loves organizing his candy and playing with it.  Dad is sleeping, getting a rare moment of rest, and Mom is fixing something with a pink tool kit.

Trick-or-Treat!

Celebrating the Harvest

We had a wonderful time picking apples at Linvilla Orchards.  Master I was determined to hike throughout that entire orchard to find the finest apples.

Mister Twister

Exploring Philadelphia

Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell

Master I was feeling quite dignified I guess.  I think he was inspired by the military band that we was on the grounds.

Independence Hall

Ladies and Gentlemen....the future of the United State of America.

This is the room of the Constitutional Convention and the Declaration of Independence.

The Liberty Bell

Welcome to Swarthmore

There is a beautiful college campus in our town.  The ground are like the beautiful gardens that we were used to in Utah at Red Butte Gardens.  In the summer they have adarondak chairs everywhere.  There is a band-aid on Rachel's leg because she was absolutely covered with mosquito bites.  The summer was so humid and there were loads of bugs.

Master I's first day of school.  We are so pleased with his school.  The teachers seem to want to nurture excellence and yet they don't want them doing more than 30 minutes of homework a night.  I love that they are striking that balance.