Dreading School and Soccer

So I wasn't laughing when there was toothpaste all in R's hair as I was trying to leave the house, but I didn't get mad.  This morning when Miss R had brushed toothpaste all through Twister's hair I did get mad.  What was I doing while all of this happened?  I was in the same room as them, but I was in a contorted position trying to get the toys out from under the bed that they had thrown everywhere last night.  And yet I deeply believe that to get mad is counter-productive.  It may produce the short term result that you want (compliance) but never the long term result (enduring obedience born of understanding and love of you and of God).  I also believe that when we are contentious with our children we teach them a pattern of contention with us and with each other.

So, I owe Miss R five dollars.  I have a deal with the kids that if I raise my voice I owe them five dollars.  She told me that I yelled. I don't think I yelled, but I was pretty mad and I am sure I raised my voice.  I have learned that when I am that mad I just can't even open my mouth.  I have to wait until the blood stops boiling.

Yet inspire of these naughty things, I so deeply love children.  I love to see their happiness, their laughter, their love.  They are so pure and so good.  I love to make their life happy.  I find deep satisfaction from being a mother.  I don't think there is any profession that could even come close to what I experience here.  I wonder sometimes what I will do once I have raised my small brood.  I guess I want more of the same thing.  Teach Kindergarten?



Twister is so, so, so fun.  He is the real Curious George and gets into plenty of mischief, but he is always smiling and happy and laughing.  I love him.  He makes me an all onlooking observers laugh.  The day in the library made all of the patrons' day.

Master I has reached the point in the school year where it isn't all rosy for him.  He has frustrations with how little time he has to play because of a long day at school followed by homework.  He feels like teachers are made at him all day long even though he is a good kid.  And he is annoyed with one of his friends that constantly pinches him.  I asked him what he thought he could do about this last situation.  He told me, "I don't know.  I have already yelled at ____ to tell him to stop.  What am I supposed to do? Talk to a guidance counselor?  I hate my guidance counselor this year.  She is mean.  And I think that guidance counselors are weird.  What is the purpose anyway?  They just want to get in other people's business and listen.  Why should I talk or listen to them?"  This made me laugh so hard.  This was our conversation Friday night.  But this morning, Monday, I felt sad for him as he dreaded going to school.

He wanted me to explain to him again why I won't homeschool him.  I told him that I didn't think that he would like me telling him all day long what to do.  He already can't stand me telling him to unload the dishwasher, brush his teeth, take a shower, practice piano, etc during the small amount of time I am with him.  I told him that I worried that he would hate being with me all day having me tell him what to do.  He listened closely and then humbly nodded in agreement.  I asked him if there was anything I could do to make it better for him.  He told me that he didn't know.  I offered to let him play instead of doing our morning jobs and walking to school and that I would drive him to school last minute.  He liked that idea.  He hoped right into my bed and played on the iPad for the next half hour.  I know it isn't a good long term solution.  Just an experiment to see if listening and trying empathize would help.  I do wish he was in school for much less time.  I wish that he felt that the teachers thought of him as smart and good.  I wish that he had more time to play and I try to protect that time fiercely.

I made Miss R go to soccer this weekend.  She cried when I got out her green soccer shirt and said that she wanted to wear a dress.  The first hour is practice.  She was willing to do it as long as I did it with her.  But she flat out refused to play in the game.  We settled for cheering on the sidelines for our team.  Finally Twister had to go potty so we decided to home home.  Miss R was exuberant.  She ran for the first time all day.  Unfortunately, the running was to the car instead of on the field and while she ran she  yelled to me, "You have made me so happy!  I am so glad that I get to go home!" We really tried to make it fun.  Notice the pink soccer shoes, the pink soccer sock, and the pink soft pants.

I Hope to Laugh Someday at all of This

When I went to go help Rachel brush her hair this morning I noticed she had spots of white in it and where it was previously smooth it was now snarled and tangled. When I tried to brush her hair I asked her what she had gotten into it. She told me that she didn't put anything in it. I said it look like toothpaste. And then she told me that William had brushed her hair. I remembered how he had asked me for more toothpaste on his toothbrush and to be able to brush his teeth by himself. In his wandering while he was brushing his teeth he must have decided to start brushing Rachels hair. I saw his little, yellow, Winnie the Pooh toothbrush discarded on the ground and thought how gross it was. And  I wondered if I should just throw it away. I wasn't laughing then, but I write these things in the hopes that one day I will be able to laugh at them.

Yesterday I took the kids to the library.  It is a small town library that is the heart of the community. They call me their "best customer" and I always recognize about half of the patrons in the library from people I know or see a lot in town. It is not a place where one can do something embarrassing and be anonymous. This is the curse and the blessing of a small town.  The library has a children's section which is just the law. Isaiah asked for me to go look for a book for him and I told him that I would, but that he would have to watch twister on the loft level while I was around the corner in the main level. After a short month while I heard him tell me that he needed my help. I asked him what he needed. He told me that Twister was being crazy. I told him to put was to on his lap until I got up there. I looked for one moment longer and then started to walk up the stairs when I saw twister emerged from the come corner completely nude!
He had a huge smile on his face and for that matter, so did Master I.  We were the spectacle of the library that day. I rushed upstairs to see a pile of clothes next to a wet puddle on the ground. I learned that he had an accident and then quickly took off the wet clothes. There are challenges to potty training so young that they don't developmentally get other things... Like clothes.

Twister loves his brother and sister and hates being separated from them. When we dropped off Master I for school today he scowled and protested saying," I wuv Yeayuh!"

I was talking summer with I

My Moments of the Day with Da Sweetest Darling

In her prayers tonight she said, "Please bless me to have my peaceful time and for no one to get near me during my peaceful time."

She loves all that is cozy.  She flopped on her bed tonight and said, "I love bedtime!"

I already said that she doesn't seem to like competitive sports.  But, she loves swimming, playing at the park, dancing, and hiking.  When we are in the hiking trails around Swarthmore College she says, "These are my peaceful mountains, like my peaceful beach."

She is very feminine.  She loves to get dressed up and wants to wear a dress everyday.  Not just a dress, but a "spin dress."  It has  to have enough material to twirl when she spins.

She is very good at playing by herself or playing with Twister.  She loves to make him laugh and he worships her for this.  This is one of the reasons I don't send her to preschool.  It breaks his heart to have me drop her off somewhere and have him not be able to go.  I feel like I can teach her all that she needs to know and provide social experiences for her.  I want to be with her and I want Twister to be with her as much as we can.

She is very imaginative and sometimes this can create problems with telling the truth. Mostly I have found her imagination endearing and the foggy lines between reality and falsehood a manifestation of that.   Recently I have tried to take this more seriously and teach her not to lie, especially when it involves lying to me about something she shouldn't have done.  I am not sure if this is too harsh but I have told her, "You are a good girl, but if you lie it will destroy you and turn you bad."  I am sure that her grandmothers will cringe when they read that, but I worry that I need to warn her and be firm now. Anyway, she was quite troubled by that explanation.  She yelled at me, "NO one can destroy or take my love!"  I thought it was so profound that she chose the word love to express her goodness.  How true.

Today I was trying to get her to clean up.  There were food toys all over the ground.  Pick up these toys right now." I said firmly.  She responded by flicking her finger in the air and looked at me with a little defiance.  And then she unexplicably softened and gently said to me, "Don't worry Mom, I am just doing imaginary flicks to you."

My Twister moment of the day:  After I am done brushing his teeth he wants to do it for himself.  He is doing great, but then I see him headed towards the toilet.  I yell, "Noooo!"  But it is too late.  He swishes his toothbrush in the toilet like it was a toilet brush and then puts in in his mouth and makes slurping noises.   I sigh, discouraged that I wasn't able to prevent the disaster, and then I take the toothbrush and then he runs to the bedroom.  It's like he knows what he did was naughty, but he can't help himself.

Master I began his basketball clinic tonight.  I was amazed to see him playing so well.  He plays as a nine year old much better than I have ever been able to play.  I love watching him play.  I remember watching him play as a 6 year old and feeling that it was a painful experience.  He didn't know how to play, he wanted to be so good, and I didn't know how to teach him.  I am so grateful for the hours Mark has spent teaching him and the basketball camps that he insisted that we let Master I do.