Recently I had a friend tell me that she could understand why many women choose to work in an office instead of the work in the home. “So much of what you do at home is so quickly undone or gone by the end of the day. You make a wonderful meal To plan, prepare, and serve it takes hours. When it is done you have nothing to show for it but a dirty kitchen!” After a few more of her examples I had to agree that is definitely a hard part of motherhood. It is easy to finish a day, or a year, or a decade and say to oneself, “What did I do? What do I have to show for my work?”
This week I was reading the account of Ammon, the great missionary in the Book of Mormon. I reviewed principles that I tried to learn as a full-time missionary. When Ammon determined to teach the Lamanites the Gospel of Jesus Christ before he ever began to preach there was a long-term, open-ended commitment to get to know the people that he wanted to teach (Alma 17:23). Then an opportunity naturally came where he was able to do something that he longed to do--“Win the hearts of these my fellow servants” (Alma 17:29). Once these people knew Ammon and he had won their hearts the Lamanites asked Ammon the questions and Ammon merely testified . And the results were unbelievable (Alma 18:14-42).
As I read the chapter my thoughts naturally started by thinking of my friends that I love and hope accept the truth, but then I began to think of my children who I daily lay down my life for and for whom I will do anything to have the truth written in their hearts. Aren’t our children really our best investigators? Isn’t that what I am trying to do… “win their hearts?”
I shared this verse with a friend that has nearly finished raising her children what she did to win their hearts. “Oh, I don’t know? What about you?” We both couldn’t think of anything to say because nothing we ever did seemed that spectacular. I sheepishly said, “Well, I guess I see it in my son when I prepare a really good meal for my family with lots of side dishes. He loves food. Or if I lay down by him at night when I am putting him to sleep and talk to him”
My not -so-grandiose example gave her more confidence to share hers, “You know, my kids just are going so fast in so many different directions that the only time that they are still is when they sit next to me in Sacrament meeting. And so I just sort of have my hand on their back and lightly move it back and forth. And do you know what I’ve noticed? When my hand gets tired and I put it down my son will put his arm around me.”
“You won his heart.” I tell her. It occurs to me that our seemingly inconsequential examples that we think of to share with each other are actually examples of the power of nurturing.
It is so easy to feel that it is waste of time to get to know and then to win the hearts of investigators through service. As a full-time missionary I wanted to barge into a home, ask 2 get-to-know you questions, and then present the message for them to accept and reject. Sometimes I find myself feeling a similar way now in my life as a wife and mother. I am tempted to deliver my proclamations of the Gospel to those I love in a matter of fact tone , declaring the way things really are, and laying down the law. I don’t see the connection between my bringing my family to the Lord and the dinner I cook or the bedtime routine…until I ponder the story of Ammon.
Then my grandma is “brought to my remembrance (John 14:26).” She was an Ammon to her wayward son when she was in her 80’s and he was in his fifties. He had left the Church in his youth, shortly after his mission. Like Ammon, she told her son through her actions, “I desire to dwell among this people for a time; yea, and perhaps until the day I die.” She told him this by her repeated efforts to have a relationship with him with no Gospel strings attached. Like Ammon took the time to get to know her investigator son and she gave him the time that he needed to come to know her. Like King Lamoni, my uncle got to know his mother and reached a point when he marveled at her character and love and his heart cried, “Surely there has not been any servant among all my servants that has been so faithful as this woman” (Alma 18:10).
Because Grandma was seeking for ways to connect with her son the opportunity to “win the heart” (Alma 17:29) came naturally--just as it did for Ammon. This intellectual son had a pastime of reading physics books. And so Grandma took up physics in her 80’s. Her son would lend her a book, she would read it, and they would discuss it once a week. Just as happened with King Lamoni, questions about God naturally came to my uncle and he asked them to his mother in their conversations. Their conversations revolved around science, God, and the cosmos. Grandma held his heart. I am sure that the testimony that she shared came as a short, gentle answer to the questions of his soul.
My grandmother’s love and nurture were not schemes to turn her children’s hearts to God. Her actions were a natural outpouring of the deep feelings of her heart. I don’t believe that she anticipated the power and influence that her nurturing has had in the lives if her children and grandchildren.
Nurturing can seem like a waste of time to us, like spending the time to get to know and serve the people could have seemed to Ammon. Actually, for hundereds of years the Nephites tried to preach the Gospel to the Lamanites. But the effect of their missionary efforts were that Lamanites wanted to kill the Nephites, burn their records, and wandered about the wilderness half naked eating raw meat (Enos 1:20). When you think about it, the true waste of time is trying to teach the Lamanites without doing first what Ammon did.
It can seem sometimes that there is nothing to show for our work in motherhood. After a day of work you can ask yourself, “What did I do?” After pondering the lesson of Ammon, I have an answer for you. You got to know them, they got to know you, you won their hearts. And now you wait for the time that your King Lamoni will ask you a question and you will testify with all of your heart, and because you have won his heart you might even have the power to convert a Lamanite king… “That is influence; that is power! (Julie B. Beck, “Mothers Who Know”).
No comments:
Post a Comment