Paid in Full!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mandy: "What do you want to remember about our week, Mark?"

Mark: "That it is done. We got through it and no one can bring it back."

He has sort of a dry sense of humor.

Master I's costume was a homemade miracle. If you will look closely you will notice that the pants are actually the arms of an old shirt. The cape was an old skirt and the rest of the costume was a lot of imagination and my old clothes. He was a Jedi Knight. This proved to be problematic as the night wore on and the pins and folds began to lose their strength. I am sure that he felt like he was Cinderella and the stage coach was turning back into a pumpkin. He was mostly troubled by the gaping hole in his pants or how the pants just wouldn't stay up. For the next day's activities he opted for the Spiderman costume. I don't blame him.

I worked in Master I's classroom for his Halloween party last Friday. I am the Room Mommy with my buddy Nancy. Master I assures me that the fun is worth all of the work. He loves me being the room mommy. For the party we had different stations that they rotated through to do Halloween activities and snacks. At Nancy and my station they did a writing activity. I wrote a Halloween story and left blanks for all of the adjectives. I explained to the children what an adjective was and that we were going to call them "magictives" because they were going to make our stories come to life and spook everyone. I had lots of adjectives cut up and put into my witches brew pot. Then they used those adjectives or their own and made their story. It was so fun to see the children concentrating and mouthing different words to try to think of the perfect word for that blank. Then they colored the picture of a haunted house for their cover. I thought it was very fun and very good for them educationally.

Master I got sent to the "penalty box"(the car) for biting Miss R's arm when she destroyed his game. After he had served his time he asked his dad if that was his only consequence. Mark answered that it wasn't. Master I wanted to know what the rest would be. Mark answered, "The horror of the realization that you have bitten a human being."

Miss R was thrilled to be a Winnie the Pooh character. She is developing a strong personality. She loves reading Goodnight Moon. Her favorite page is about the old lady whispering hush. She calls her Lady Hush. She says that she wants to say it silly when she sees the page and then yells out, "Lady Hush!"

She goes around grabbing the things that she wants out of other people's hands. When I correct her she responds, "I got it for Christmas!"

We have really been working with her on potty training. I told her that if she would go poopy in the toilet that I would giver her a special elephant stuffed animal, pillow, blanket thing. She calls it, "Efelunt." The catch is that if she goes poopy in her panes then I take it until she goes poopy again in the toilet. So far it has worked really well. Except, one day she did go poopy in her pants. I smelled it and then peaked and saw it. I asked her if she went poopy. She shook her head emphatically that she did not. I asked her who did it and she said, "W did it!"

Master W had no major food allergy reactions this week. I noticed that his eczema is starting to flare up again so I'll have to begin the skin regimen again of Aquafor 4x's daily and hydrocortizone 2x's daily.

Master W still cries a little when we put him to bed. This is terrible for me. Mark believes so firmly that we should do this. When I am tempted to go get him, Mark calmly invites me to sit with him and we have a logical conversation about the risks and benefits of such an action. All of my reason agrees with him, but it breaks me heart to hear my baby cry. I get out of it mostly by putting him in bed while he is sleeping. Now that he is used the the schedule, he usually falls asleep during the feeding prior to his sleep time.

He has the best smile and loves to be held. I hold him often and just rock back and forth in the over-stuffed chair. He is fun to love...and exhausting to love. When I see his darling smile I just want to make him even more happy or continuously happy. But sometimes it is overwhelming to have a baby you want to love all day long and not be able to indulge in that desire because there are other children to love and many tasks of home life to do. I believe in doing it all. I believe in having a clean and orderly home that is a haven. I believe in being my spouse's best friend. I believe in delicious and nutritious, thrifty meals that we gather around and enjoy as a family for a party every night! I believe in educating their minds and helping provide for them the finest education available. I believe in fun family traditions that give children a sense of identity and fun memories. I believe in laughing with kids and getting on the ground and playing with kids. I believe that disciplining children should really mean teaching them and doing it without any anger or irritation. (This is my hardest one.) I believe in reading everyday to children-- for Master I classic literature that breaks his heart and then sews the enlarged heart back together again. For Miss R Goodnight Moon and Little House on the Prairie picture books. But even more than nurturing my children within a warm home, with warm food in their bellies, I believe that there is nothing my children need more than to be with a mother whose faith is like a fire that warms their souls and hopeful will spark a flame in their own heart. And it takes time everyday to feed myself spiritually and have quiet moments to ponder scripture and feel close to God so that I can be that woman that I long to become. But, it all takes time and it is all important. It is this endeavor that I have absolutely thrown myself into.

I am still waiting for the payoff to see the amazing things that my children become and do because of my great sacrifice and my great effort. But even if it never came, I have to admit that giving of the gift was payment enough. I have to honestly say that I have been surprised by the joy I have felt every time that I put a meal on my table. I hope my playing with my daughter will be a foundation of a life-long friendship. But even if that doesn't happen it was payment enough to see my daughter giggle uncontrollably when I pretend that she knocks me over when I am swinging her on the swing and then turn my back to her. I really hope that somehow all of the love that I give my baby boy will wire his brain and shape him into a man that feels loved and feels compassion for others. But even if that wasn't the result, the deep satisfaction I felt when I soothed him when he was fussy was payment enough! All of my work as a mother was worth the those few, unplanned, unpredicted moments with my oldest boy when we both felt the Spirit of the Lord together and knew it. Even if those moments never added up to him becoming a certain type of person, I have to admit that the joy of those moments was payment enough!

And so I guess I need to stop waiting for a future payday to see who my children will become. I must admit that I am living my dream today and I am daily paid in full!